Wilderness

I used to wonder about the lack of faith the Israelites had in the wilderness. They saw the plagues. They crossed the floor of the Red Sea with a wall of water on their left and on their right. They followed the pillar of cloud and fire. They drank water from rock and ate manna from heaven.

I would say in my heart, "How different my faith is from their faith!" "How much faith I have compared to them!" After all, I believe, and I haven't seen what they had seen.

Yet, I have been seeking the Lord, and he has been peeling back the layers of sin, and lies, and confusion and pain. Now, I see -- looking back -- time and time again how I have failed to trust God. He has blessed me and made himself real to me over and over, yet, I still -- like the Israelites -- fail to trust, hope, and be obedient.

My eyes still want to fixate on the world, instead of the pillar of fire; instead of Jesus. And, so, I've been selfish and not focused on the Kingdom. All the while, I've tried to hold myself up and trust in myself instead of God. I might as well have forgotten the Red Sea and formed a golden calf.

Where I once thought myself higher than those wanderers so long ago, I now know that were I there then, I would have had the same temptation to not trust God as I do now. Even with all the wonders! I've seen the goodness of God: how he guides us, blesses us, pursues us, seeks to be reconciled and close to us. And, I've felt the stubbornness, fear, desires, and insecurity that causes us to drift. It doesn't really matter how much we could see of the glory of God, if our heads are stuck like ostriches in the sand of our own concerns.

There is no room for any arrogance in our faith. It's humility or its deception. One or the other. We can have his strength or our own; not both.

Four hundred and some years before the Israelites were in that wilderness, God promised Abraham that his descendants would be as numerous as the stars. Childless and too old; he still believed what God said. And God counted that belief as righteousness.

He took him outside and said, "Look up at the sky and count the stars -- if indeed you can count them." Then he said to him, "So shall your offspring be. Abram believed the Lord, and he credited it to him as righteousness. -- Genesis 15:5-6 NIV

Abraham had been given a very hard to believe promise and he believed. The Israelites were given every sign to be seen, heard, and tasted and somehow lacked in faith.

And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him. -- Hebrews 11:6 NIV

So maybe faith isn't about proof. The Holy Spirit witnesses to us and calls us. And, sometimes God does give us signs. Will we accept what is said and shown as true, or will we continue to question?

So, open your hearts to Jesus. Put your full and undivided trust in him; and follow. I pray that I can do the same!